February is traditionally when people seek companionship, hoping to find true love. But while many search for genuine relationships, scammers are equally active, preying on emotional vulnerability and the desire for connection.
The Southern African Fraud Prevention Service (SAFPS) says romance scams spike during this period, with criminals using sophisticated, tech-driven tactics to deceive victims.
“Romance scams are no longer obvious. They are elaborate, psychologically engineered and technologically enabled,” says Manie van Schalkwyk, the CEO of the SAFPS.
“While romance scams are a reality year-round, scammers actively target and exploit people’s emotions more around Valentine’s Day. We want South Africans to be alert, informed and protected.”
The illusion of connection and how scammers build trustIn today’s hyper-connected world, social media and dating apps have become mainstream avenues for meeting new people. While these platforms offer convenience, they also create fertile ground for scammers.
Van Schalkwyk explains that scammers are exceptionally skilled at crafting profiles that mirror the ideal partner: Attractive, attentive, similar interests and emotionally available.
“They study what people want and then present themselves as the perfect match. After the initial connection, they invest significant time in building a relationship, gaining trust and emotional intimacy.”
This is social engineering: They use their victims’ behaviour and what they share online against them to influence or deceive them.
“People underestimate how powerful emotional engineering is. Scammers don’t just steal money, they steal trust, dignity and emotional security,” says Van Schalkwyk.
Scammers’ tactics to turn a connection into exploitationVan Schalkwyk says these scammers follow predictable behaviour:• They identify emotional vulnerability. Scammers target the lonely, recently divorced, widowed, or isolated. They monitor their online behaviour, comments, likes and posts to identify potential victims and how connect with them;
• They create emotional dependency. Daily messages, constant compliments and exaggerated affection are used to accelerate emotional bonding. Victims often feel “chosen”, “seen”, or “understood”;
• They isolate the victim. Scammers subtly discourage victims from confiding in friends or family. They may claim that “others won’t understand” or that “this connection is special”;
• They introduce financial manipulation. Once emotional dependency is established, scammers make requests. They may be small at first, but they become increasingly urgent and costly. For example, their child is in the hospital or unwell, and they urgently need money for treatment. They are good at making the victim believe they are too embarrassed to ask, but that they will be forever in their debt;
• They disappear once the scam is complete. Victims are left emotionally devastated and financially compromised.
“Romance scams are psychological warfare. They break down defences and exploit human emotion. That’s why awareness is our strongest defence,” says Van Schalkwyk.
Spotting a romance scamOnce trust is established, scammers extract information and resources. Despite their sophistication, romance scams often display key red flags.
The most common warning signs:• Being evasive and avoiding in-person meetings: Scammers show intense interest in victims’ lives but avoid answering personal questions or meeting face-to-face. They have excuses for why they cannot talk, video call or meet;
• Unusual interest in personal details: A sudden fascination with birthdays, anniversaries, children’s and pet names, or other sensitive information should raise concerns. With just a few personal details, scammers can commit impersonation fraud, access accounts, reset passwords, or open fraudulent credit lines;
• Requests for money: Scammers might request money for emergencies, airtime, data, school supplies, medical procedures or urgent travel. Often, they claim they are having issues with their bank, or they have no one else to ask;
• Offering too-good-to-be-true investment opportunities: Scammers often promote investment schemes promising returns far higher than those of regulated financial institutions. These schemes look legitimate, but the returns never materialise, and victims lose their savings and, in many cases, their financial stability.
“These scams are becoming increasingly convincing and can involve a variety of tactics. But if something feels off, trust your instincts. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is,” says Van Schalkwyk.
How to deter romance scams:• Limit what you share online: Be wary of what information you share online, especially in the public domain. Insights into your life give scammers information about you that they could use to scam you;
• Be sceptical: Verify any unexpected friend, follow, or messaging requests;
• Never share information: Do not share personal or confidential information with a stranger, especially via messaging platforms;
• Never transfer money: Do not agree to pay anyone money or participate in a “great opportunity” or “initiative”;
• Report it: If you are scammed, immediately report it to the relevant authorities, as well as Yima (www.yima.org.za/reportscam), which fights scams by creating awareness, or the Yima scams hotline on 083 123 7226.
Van Schalkwyk says the SAFPS launched Yima to provide people with the tools for a proactive approach to fraud prevention.
“The Yima website (www.yima.org.za) hosts a scam prevention toolbox for South Africans to report scams and scan websites for vulnerabilities related to scams. Additionally, consumers can expand their knowledge of how to identify a scam through articles and tips,” says Van Schalkwyk.
Protect your heart and identityAs Valentine’s Day approaches, the SAFPS urges the public to remain vigilant. Romance scams are emotionally devastating and financially destructive, but they are preventable with awareness, caution and the right tools.
“Trust must be earned, not assumed. Protect your heart, your hard-earned money and your identity. Stop, think and don’t become a victim,” urges Van Schalkwyk.
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